Dr visit

This post needed to be on it's own.  Mainly, for those that needed a break from the beginning story but also because it in itself is a story.

So part of the "standard of care" calls for establishing a relationship with a Dr.  My children being blessed with good health, don't see a Dr enough to establish a relationship before, but I guess when you are trans, someone has decided that this practice of spending money to build some Dr's pool or buy his next car, is something we should contribute.

Max was sick with mono a few years ago, and young enough then to go to a Pediatrician.  However, I thought since this is just the beginning of our new found "relationship" we should go to an adult Dr as life has shown me we only get older. The building we went to prior with the Pediatrician is the same one for this Dr. so they already had our info, but I noticed, and I'm SURE Max noticed underneath that dreaded name Makenzie, was the bigger than life F, that I'm sure he thought reflected  right off his head for the whole waiting room to see.  I circled it for the woman at the desk and asked, pointing to my son, do you think we can get rid of that??  Either change it, or delete it, or something?  She looked at me, and obviously never had that question before.  She asked another woman sitting at a computer, and poof it was done!  However, the stickers they printed out already had the F attached.  After 20 min or so of waiting, a woman comes out holding a laptop computer and took the folder I was given with our stickers on it.  So all the way to the room, which seemed to be in the back of the building and what seemed like a half mile away....she's looking at Max, then looking at her computer, then looking at the stickers, back to Max, back to the computer....so on and so on.  We get back to the room and she excuses herself saying she has to "clarify" something.  I speak up, knowing what she needed to clarify and did it for her!  Told her we aren't trying to play games with the Dr by freaking him out or anything and have every intention on letting him know before he touches Max, BUT really don't feel the need to have F on the paperwork.  ....AGAIN, those paperwork people insisting on there being a M or an F to make their lives complete!   So she leaves it be but "warns" the Dr before he arrives.

I do have to point out that I phrased this visit to be a "well physical" so that it would be covered by insurance, as many have found out, the minute you mention trans, POOF nothing is covered....however, didn't someone mandate that I establish a "relationship" with a Dr?? and several Dr's at that!  so WTH!

So I try to just to tell myself, she's just undereducated in this subject and can't wait until the Dr arrives to have a much more intelligent conversation.  What I learned was far from it.  Not that the man was not educated.  I'm sure he was, but with transgender, NOT SO MUCH.  I found myself having to educate.  Throwing things in whenever he made a comment or asked a question.  One of the things I specifically remember saying when he asked Max about his "sexual crushes" and the answer being BOYS.  Was in these words, "you know that sexual orientation and gender identity are two separate things right?"  I don't think this was learned since when we left I looked at the paper that had the "diagnosis" on it and it read, in bold letters.  "GENDER IDENTITY DISORDER, SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MALES".   Is being gay a medical diagnosis anyway???  But the other educating I had to do was when he asked what we were doing there....I said, again we are here for a "physical" (for insurance purposes) but also we need a referral.  He then asked what kind of Dr we needed a referral for!!  A "neurologist"? Yes, he did say this to me!!  WHAT?  What would he do for us???  Gender Identity, expression, etc, is NOT a Neurological disorder.  I personally don't even think it is psychological but diagnosis through Psych.  Anyway, I continued and tried to not laugh, but said, "well next step with us would be hormones so probably an Endocrinologist would be best".  GEEEZ!!!

So the encouraging thing from this though is that I made that Endo appointment today.  The woman at the desk said they had received the info from our Primary Doc about WHY we were being seen.  I was then pleasantly surprised, when I was informed that our new Dr would be setting aside a TWO hr consultation!  I sure hope this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship!

More to come after appt, unless something pressing comes up before that......March 3rd at 10am!!  Max is getting excited.